Dealing with the dirty room. I remember my dad telling me after I left the house for military college how dirty my sister’s room was. In fact I remember a Newsday feature "The 10 dirtiest bedrooms". I think my sister Nancy might have qualified as #1. My dad was always berating me to clean up my room when I lived at home. Then after I had left he would tell my sisters why couldn’t you keep your room immaculate like your brother?
Maybe you can identify with me looking into your stepchild’s or even your child's bedroom and be aghast at the mosaic of dirty clothes decorating the floor and every piece of furniture including under and on top of their bed. Not to mention being unable to count the number of half empty glasses containers and silverware strewn about.
When my eldest stayed with us early in our relationship because she and her boyfriend had no place to canoodle, she rivaled my sister’s room in short order. This was responsible for most of my torture in the early going. My middle daughter Heather during her college days was not as bad as my sister Nancy but it still looked like a hotel room with every garment and any place but hung up or in a drawer. You may have heard this before but here it is again- just shut the door. What you can’t see won’t hurt you. This is one instance where ignorance is bliss. My wife would naturally go in there and clean make the bed remove the dishes and glasses because she knew how much I hated it. She because of my resentment would constantly rush in after my stepdaughter had vacated for parts unknown and clean up. I used to say that she was just enabling them to be sloppy when in fact she was just trying to balance the love or her children and keeping me happy. As soon as I stopped looking my wife stopped cleaning. Viola!
I used to joke that her kids lived at a bed and breakfast, which included lunch and dinner.
4 comments:
I thought I was the only one that had a problem with how messy my step children kept their rooms.
It left me feeling used when I would see my step daughter leaving a virtual pig sty in the home my new wife and I had just purchased. It was her saying I have no respect for you but I am glad I can hang my hat here anytime I want.
I stopped looking in my son's room long ago. Even though he moved out over a year ago, my husband still laments as to what a mess it is a year later. The fact is, when he moved out, I stopped enabling. Now that the house is to be sold, I suppose I will have to clean it up. However, the bottom line is that I stopped enabling when I realized that it was ruining (in retrospect - already had) the marriage.
I might consider hiring someone to remove what isn't nailed down after I gave my son a two week notice that anything he doesn't remove by that time is headed for the carting company.
Post a Comment