A word from my own experience and that is don’t ever fool yourself into thinking that your stepchildren have a deeper allegiance to you than their biological father no matter how much of a screw up he is or was. There are exceptions of course but if you inherit children from the age of majority don’t fool yourself into thinking that you have ensconced yourself into their hearts unless of course you have a bank account.
And their mother will roll out every excuse imaginable as to why they are behaving a certain way. It’s not her fault she is just doing her best to rationalize her offspring’s behavior that you have nothing to do with. And most probably to be fair the damage done by their father (which they will always forgive) has left them scarred. And be prepared to be the object of their frustration to take it out on.
I learned much as a step dad and your experience might be much different than mine was but remember this: Blood is thicker than water.
