A word from my own experience and that is don’t ever fool yourself into thinking that your stepchildren have a deeper allegiance to you than their biological father no matter how much of a screw up he is or was. There are exceptions of course but if you inherit children from the age of majority don’t fool yourself into thinking that you have ensconced yourself into their hearts unless of course you have a bank account.
And their mother will roll out every excuse imaginable as to why they are behaving a certain way. It’s not her fault she is just doing her best to rationalize her offspring’s behavior that you have nothing to do with. And most probably to be fair the damage done by their father (which they will always forgive) has left them scarred. And be prepared to be the object of their frustration to take it out on.
I learned much as a step dad and your experience might be much different than mine was but remember this: Blood is thicker than water.
4 comments:
BUSTED!!!!
I know that this is not your first post with this title!
What you fail to note is that it is a recurring theme in our society to blame the parents. It's much easier to throw a steppie under the bus instead of taking responsibility. Their age when they come into your life is irrelevant. I personally think that it has more to do with how your spouse treats you in front of them & what your spouse says (or doesn't say) about you behind your back.
Also, you fail to mention that the absent father is always a godly figure no matter what harm he may do. God forbid the 24/7 single mom should say a peep about his abhorrent behavior... The child will stick up for the absent father irregardless of how objectionable his behavior may be.
Step parenting is NOT easy. I think the problem is that you went in expecting something or rather NOT expecting something. Of course you know what I mean.
Blood is thicker than water...but can't love be thicker than blood? Or maybe that's just in a country music song...
The power of true love ordinarily is thicker than blood but that's only true for love songs.
Blood certainly physiologically is thicker than water. None of the anonymous respondents has lived with either you or your step children so we can only offer theoretical comments. What I for one know about you is you are not likely to intentionally hurt others. That is not to say that you haven't or don't. I have watched the ingratitude of step children in my own family and sympathize with the pain it has caused you.
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