Although my tenure of being a stepdad has ended I have learned a lot in 13 years. On the plus side I lived the life of a father and had true devotion from the children sired by another. My stepson now a young man with a family of his own presented the most challenges to me and yet he stood as steadfast as he could to be fair and not side unfairly with his birth mother. I will always appreciate that because as I have said many times here blood is indeed thicker than water and it would have been easy for him to stick to his nuclear roots.
My step daughters although they have not spoken to me once since the breakup I do not blame them for siding with their mother after all she gave them a life when their natural father gave them nothing except a genetic code. On the plus side as well was the fact that I was forced out of my selfish ways because I needed to compensate for children that were egocentric as all children are but I was not used to. I got a lesson in psychology too in that what was important to me mattered little to them.
Of course in many ways I felt used, abused and ignored even though my blended family would deny any such thought but if I had established boundaries and kept my ego in check I could have avoided most of the heartbreak I face now.
2 comments:
It will never end memories are indelibly printed in your heart and mind. All children are a challenge as we are to them whether parent or step parent. The lessons you taught your step children will live on with them and their children. Young men learn to be fathers from their father. His success as a parent will largely be drawn from the skills you taught him. Drop the STEP for all intense and purposes you are and were his and his sister's father
Having personally lived in the "Step" world I can tell you first hand that it takes many, many years & the most unique of circumstances for everyone in the blended family to feel as though they are Blood.
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