I came to a revelation about criticism of my stepson. In the almost 2 ½ years since my Chinese daughter in law has lived with us, I have never once complained, felt resentment towards or had a cross word with her. She is my barometer of my own equanimity toward any commentary I have had about her husband.
It is the balance that I always look for even though my emotions sometimes get the better of me. Instinctual automatic thoughts plague me at times and a lot of them are self centered and righteous. This young woman from a half world away has been the second agent sent by a power greater than myself to indoctrinate me and help me recover from my stinking thinking.
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