Mother’s Day and I feel strange. There must be something to the people that are missing in my life on days like these. I tend to minimize the fact that my mother is gone and that my sister died violently 41 years ago on Mother’s Day. I suppose that I should be beyond feelings like this but maybe not.
My father is still alive but only in fleeting glimpses now. He gets stuck in an event and cannot seem to escape even though he has been given the key over and over and over again. He called today about his checking account, which was taken care of several weeks ago. He awaits my call which I will not make after our one sided dust up last month.
Yes a bit lazy on my part but I have to take care of my own insecurities first before I attend to his imaginary ones. I suppose mine are imagined too but I will molly coddle myself at least for today.
I struggle with my stepson because I still have a difficult time with his lack of gainful employment and knowing he is headed to China again this year for two months. This makes his tenure with him and his lovely Chinese wife go beyond two years. And I say to myself that I would love to have the time off he keeps giving himself. He has no pressure to leave just the words he utters every once in awhile when he wants to rationalize his behavior. I wonder what he will be like when he has to pay his own way.
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