Step Dad Day

Not one of the most auspicious Father’s Day I have spent in my collection I will admit frankly.  I woke up with a chip on my shoulder and I don’t know what tree it came from.  However my wife was not long on tolerance of my “chippiness” and refused to talk to me for several hours.

I went through some machinations in my head and went right for my easy hiding place of isolation. I have a PhD. In solitude and I felt I was justified in feeling the way I did. Which was if you’re not talking to me, wait to you see my version of silence laced with scorn.   However, I make my own pain and when I rely on anyone including my wife to make my day ‘special’ because I am annexing a holiday that really isn’t mine I am only asking for trouble.

I will not fall into this trap again just because my step daughter (bless her heart) stopped over on Friday to deliver by hand a Father’s Day card signed by her and her fiancé and my step son and his wife gave me their Hallmark version along with a new leather Journal.  These well-intentioned trinkets give me the illusion I am deserving of homage because I am the de facto father. 

Truth is this made up holiday gives me a mercurial attitude every time it shows up on the calendar.  As much as I love the attention it is the private smugness that I carry against their biological father that makes this Sunday in June an awkward one for the this Stepdad.