What have I learned most recently? Have you an aging parent with short
term memory tremors? Well I have! It can be most disconcerting. It can
be a painful experience on a couple of levels. One is obvious where you
have to listen to the same conversation and questions over and over.
You can find yourself losing your patience and tolerance. Anger is the
other by-product followed by guilt that you actually got angry. But I
think I have found a method to circumvent a big chunk of upset. What I
do is first track what the questions and stories are and commit them to
memory. Next I repeat the same questions give the same answers in well
paced intervals, before my dad has a chance to ask them again. I now
empty my negativity toward him, and give him what he needs by re
enforcing what his memory is lacking. Now I am free from impatience and
intolerance and best of all anger and guilt. This now makes my visit a
positive one; I can spend more time with him and spend more time with
his long-term memory, which seems intact. I now learn things I never
knew and I can rediscover a deeper love for my father. A parlor trick
maybe but an effective one. Now maybe there is a seed here to use with
some permutations in my everyday relationships.
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