Friday, August 27, 2010

Empathy


Empathy is one of the keys to successful relationships with step children.  As humans we are sentient by nature and automatically think how every event outside ourselves affects us. This natural tendency is good mainly for survival not for relationships.  
In the beginning I thought that my personality alone would be the one theater that I would excel in, as it had always worked before in drawing people to my God given charisma.  It was the rudest awakening of my life when I found that no matter how likable I thought I was, it was a relatively useless talent when it came to stewardship as a step dad.  
I found out that step children are 1000 times more interested in what’s going on in their lives as they are about yours or what you are thinking. Once you can establish that fact in your mind and embrace it whole heartedly the easier your life will become in being with them on a day to day basis.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

JB-

It's a thankless job being a Step Monster, whether it be mother or father. The fact is whatever you do for these stepchildren, you do for reasons that only another Step Monster can understand. First, it's the right thing to do. second, you are helping your spouse and third, you are making an attempt to hold your cracked and very fragile stepfamily together.

There are never any answers to these matters. Perhaps you should work on a step family manual?

The hardest part is that you are frequently standing in as mother or father for an absentee parent. Unfortunately, this only reminds the children of what is lacking in their absentee biological parent. This only breeds resentment and distain for the Step Monster who is working to raise them day in and day out.

Best wishes in your quest-
AYW